I am a bit frustrated with myself. Communication has never been a difficulty for me in the past, so I'm really not quite sure what's going on now. I often read about people building walls and holding in their emotions, I've always joked about Brice wishing I would distance and hold a few things in. ;)
We started out full steam ahead, it is kind of easy for Brice to lead, not so much for me to follow....but I'm working on it. From the beginning he said he didn't need directions to spank his wife, and I'm here to tell you he didn't. Brice has asked a few times, what else is he supposed to be doing....he says he knows exactly what I am supposed to do (unfortunately he does). He will read a blog if I put it in front of him but I have a hard time even picking one out for him to read.
Consistency has actually been an issue for us. Which I'm not one to complain, but it does cause me to tale spin. I have enough trouble as it is and I don't need any extra help in spinning out of control.
I was the one that said....I would NEVER whine about consistency. The biggest problem I do have with it is Brice is VERY consistent in pointing out what I do wrong, and boy can he
This week I experienced my first two days in a row of spankings, with his new paddle from Blondie.....not fun. I really didn't think he would do it again....I was wrong. :( It was really amazing how much submission I had the next day or two...that halo was firmly on my head. I need the feeling that I have been forgiven, that he is okay with the fact I'm a scatter brained mess....I need his help and leadership. It was the perfect time to do some communicating....did I? Nope, not really.
I really know what I need to do, and I know this is my fault because he WILL listen to anything I have to say, but I MUST find the words.
It just goes to show, this is NOT an easy process...No matter how dominant they are at the starting line the hurdles can slow you down. <<----(sorry about the analogy, I promise to never try that again lol)
On a more positive note.....
Here is my first meme,
1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? Sports, Action Movies, Sports, or
um....Sports.
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Caesar
3. The most striking thing about his physical appearance? His Bald Head. ;)
4. You go out to eat and have a drink; what does he order? A Filet Mignon medium rare and bottle of red wine for us to share.
5. Where did he go to high school? About 30 minutes away from me.
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Shot Glasses, Hats, Small Knives
8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Hot Corned Beef and Pastrami with Mustard, Pepper Jack Cheese on Rye
9. What would he eat every day if he could? Never the same thing as the two days before....ugh
10. What is his favorite cereal? Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries
11. What would he never wear? A Speedo
13.Who did he vote for? The same person as me.
14. Who is his best friend? He said ME ;) (did I mention he's a smart man)
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Straighten my hair.
16. What is his heritage? English/Scottish
17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind? Rum Cake
19. What could he spend hours doing? Watching Sports
20. What is one unique talent he has? He can pick things up with his toes. (He's very proud of this)
Good gosh Betsy! How did you end up with a paddle from Blondie? I was looking over there, and they looked so pretty! But then I thought to myself- ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND KATIE??? And then I thought- you are on a spending freeze! So while I would like to give Blondie my business, I would not like to encourage Rob to have any more wood in hand or to have reason to use it. On the other hand, perhaps one of those little paddles would be kinder than the silicone spreader spatula thing! You are brave Betsy!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you have found a communication glitch. I hope that you are able to get through that soon. :) Everyone warns of these. I am sure that day will come.
Captain crunch with Crunch berries! Oh yum. I prefer Lucky Charms. LOL. The toe things are interesting. I wonder if that means that he can spank you with an implement in his toes? Brice sounds like a really sweet HoH Betsy! Hugs!
<3 Katie
Did you really just say, "I would not like to encourage Rob to have any more wood in hand " ? bwahahaa..
DeleteYou read that right, Girlie!!!! Wood is bad. Susie is absolutely right. I know that now! But silicone is very bad. I know that now too- and he was just trying it out. What lives in the kitchen stays in the kitchen! My new motto!
DeleteI am, um....just going to bite my tongue here, because I have an angelic reputation to uphold....
DeleteLOL Willie! Well sometimes I can be an angel too! ;) <3
DeleteOh I am DEFINITELY tired! Willie! Take those angel wings off right now! Hand them to Barney. You need a spanking. Thank you Betsy for pointing out the obvious! LOLLLL!
Deletelaughing my 'angel wings' off !!!
Deletein fact from now on get used to seeing lmawo !
DeleteThanks to Wilma's Candy Post, Brice knew someone in blogland had a paddle shop. He had me pull it up and HE looked at every detail. I am here to tell you he knew more about what he was doing than I thought. He bought two....one is the little harmless looking Ambrosia Purse Paddle, it is EVIL...he barely has to swing more than his wrist. Stay away from it!
DeleteI think we need to send one to Barney! Even though he has his new cheeseboard lol.
DeleteTell Brice I can pick things up with my toes too.
ReplyDeleteHope things get better at your house.
Sunny girl, so can I, lol.
DeleteBetsy, good luck with communication. Not really my strong suit.
I'm going to burst Brice's bubble when I tell him his talent isn't quite as unique as he thought lol.
DeleteWhere to comment first??? I'll go with the easiest....tell Brice I have that same amazing talent...hahahah! Me and my "princess toe" are *very* talented ;)
ReplyDeleteOkay, now on to you....we have talked about this before, but sometimes it is just so hard to get this stuff out in the open. It is a process....and one that I still fail with a lot! But the truth is, it does get easier....and yes, you need to find a way to let him in. He can't help you, if you don't reach out. I send emails to Ryan a lot....I find the face to face stuff to darn hard sometimes. He loves you....scatter brained-ness and all (I think I just made up a word!). Save your bottom and ask for help!
Love ya :)
~Lucy
I hope I figure it out soon. With school letting out our house will be nuts again (well more nuts lol). I was hoping we would be a bit further along at this point.
DeleteI cannot believe how talented everyone around here is. My toes are practically glued together....probably from dancing around on them in point shoes too long lol.
We all *know* communication is key. The difficulty comes in really understand what it is we need to communicate at times. This can take time. If you know what you want to say, but the words get caught in your throat, write to him. That is what I did for months with B. Often if it is difficult I still do.
ReplyDeleteAs for the meme...COWBOYS? I thought you said he was a football fan?
I would like to thank him personally for never wearing a Speedo. ( nothing personal, just unless you are in an Olympic Pool event or a Superhero wearing them over your tights..no NEED)
As for the feet..I too can do that. I would imagine with that second toe of his he could enter his ATM code too!
love, willie
Brice is still waiting to hear who your favorite team is...He was however very pleased to see you showed your respect by putting it in all caps. ;)
DeleteLove ya back,
Betsy;)
Love the bionic toes. :)
ReplyDeleteWell Betsy Boo...I know the whole world will tell you to communicate. They are right and I'd say the same thing but I also know that "this" sort of communication is so different from what we've done before. I can talk till the sky turns green but this baring of our souls, telling the one person in the world who loves us more than themselves all that is on our heart--it is tough, crazy super tough. Don't beat yourself up about it but don't let yourself stuff either. In every brave moment, squeeze a little bit out.
I sound like a broken record with this but one thing that really helped us in our first year was to have a weekly time. For us it was Sunday night b/c that was the evening least likely to get messed up by anything else. It was our time to talk about us, about ttwd, about the hard emotional stuff. Sometimes we'd sit there and look at each other and I would swear that I'd have nothing to say only to squeak out 3 words and then dissolve into a puddle of tears. They were good times but hard ones and while it is easier now, they still happen.
Hang in there, keep writing too b/c that helps a ton. Somehow jotting the struggle down in a post loosens things up and I find it can help me with finding those brave moments.
Sheesh...I guess you got me right in the middle of my strong cup of coffee. Sorry about the novel Betsy!
Susie you can always answer my blog during that strong cup of coffee!
DeleteSqueeze a little bit out at a time...that's what I do, but it is a very little bit it seems. We are going to set a specific time to talk each week or if possible a little each day and I'm going to try to give him a blog a day to read. If MM would like to write some more it would be greatly appreciated, his are always helpful. ;)
Hey Betsy,
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the meme, love the toe thing, first time I've seen rum cake mentioned in this meme.
As for the communication ... I think the others have said it all. This level of communicating is hard but it does get a little easier. Hang in there and keep writing.
Hugs,
Roz
Hi Roz!
DeleteBrice read my post, I ran into the other room to hide, but I do think it is easier than talking sometimes. Keep telling me it will get easier! ;)
Well our husbands have the bald head and Speedo in common! LOL
ReplyDeleteI can pick up stuff with my toes too. It is probably because I avoid bending.
And Wilma is VERY,VERY naughty!
Yes Wilma IS very naughty! I'm thinking her angel wings are RED! ;)
DeleteI do love his bald head ;)
Our daughters are very adept at using their toes as pseudo fingers. so I have a perfect visual of that....
ReplyDeleteIan would approve of Brice's sandwich - he also loves that one.
hugs
lillie
Hi Lillie, Our daughters all got my toes that are not talented at all ;)
Delete