Umm...You Mean You Don't Like Surprises?

This was the point I began to realize how submissively challenged I really am. This is when I realized Brice gets to continue to be himself, and I am the one that has to make the big changes.  This is when Brice began to realize he had won the lottery. This is when I realized I had been zigging when maybe I should have been zagging.

We made it past the 's' word (as I referred to it back then) much easier than I expected, when he actually said it first, but I still wasn't quite ready to commit. My biggest concern now was that once that started, there would be no stopping and the way he was pointing out every little thing ....I was officially freaking out. ;)

It was Christmas time, when my daughter in from college asked me if she could have a get together for friends from her middle school. (They had been a very close class and all great kids.) Brice was going to be out of town working, so I said sure.

Was I going to ask Brice you wonder?

Mmmm...no.

Why?

Well why would I......he would say 'NO'?

Did I think twice about asking Brice?

Nope....not even once. ;)

He didn't need to know, because it would all be cleaned up by the time he got home right?

One little problem was I didn't mention to my daughter not to tell her Dad.....That would be wrong...I would never do a thing like that. (I know I know...twisted but true)  That's exactly what she did....Told her Dad.

Brice was angry as you can imagine, he gave me the...what better happen and what better not happen lecture. We hadn't 'officially started' dd yet....although he threatened plenty...I really didn't think he would necessarily do anything.

The party was great, yes there were a few little mishaps but considering there were about 22 nineteen year old kids, it went very well. Unfortunately, not quite well enough, the little issues were enough for me to get into very big trouble.

I had earned my first spanking. That was the day I learned I may be turned on by the thought of one....even the threat of one....I now knew NOTHING turned me on about the actual event. I immediately (well, by the 3rd swat) wanted it to stop. I was yelling that I had made a terrible mistake that I didn't want to do this anymore, we have to quit and so on. Brice calmly continued, simply stating he would be more than happy to discuss my thoughts on all of this....right after my spanking. Needless to say, reality was now setting in.

As time went by, I found this little....umm....bad habit of mine, is something I have always done in our marriage, more often than I ever imagined. The next time I was running an 'idea' I had by a dd friend, and she asked a simple question....

What does Brice think about it?

Ummm...well he will be out of town, so I'm thinking I would surprise him.

I know this is horrible, but until she asked me, it never crossed my mind.

Once she stopped laughing at my expense, she convinced me this way of thinking was no longer an option.

This little issue has definitely been one of the hardest for me and the most unexpected. I really did NOT realize how often I had been ''surprising' Brice throughout our marriage....when he doesn't like surprises. ;)