Phone a Friend

I want to thank you all so much for the support on my last post.  My house is coming along and I am very excited with the progress.

Now on to the good stuff. Well, last week it wasn't so good, but I can see the humor in it now.

It all started late one night when we were swimming at our oldest daughter's house. We were in two cars, and I asked to Brice to please follow me home because my gas light was on.  I did more than mention it, we actually laughed about me running out of gas while he was home snoring.  Now, I know for many of you the fact that your light was on would have been the end of the story, but not around here. However, in his defense, we were 2 miles from home in our little neighborhood we refer to as our safe bubble. (Do you like how I'm defending him before I tell you what he did? lol) I had my cell....etc....and so on.

We got in our cars, (#3 daughter riding with him and #4 with me) I looked down to read a text from Lucy and when I looked up he was gone! Yep, you read that right....GONE! What do you do in this situation?

When you are in total shock and disbelief at what your HoH just did, do you call the friend that you know will tell you what you SHOULD do? Nope. You call the friend that will cheer you on with what you WANT to do!

So yes, on my way to the gas station lol, I phoned Lucy. She, as always, is laughing when she picks up the phone.  I went on to explain how even after I talked to Brice about following me home, he totally LEFT ME....and it hurt my feelings deeply.  But more than anything he really TICKED me off! I explained I was at the gas station and was going to take my sweet time. Like the good friend she is, she told me it wasn't what I should do, but was exactly what she would do. Ha! Exactly what I wanted her to say.

About that time was when my phone started ringing. Yep, it was Brice. Nope, I didn't answer. I remember saying something about......No way was he getting off that easy.  Lucy agreed, stating again it was not what I SHOULD do, but exactly what she WOULD do. After about his 7th call I started driving. I go back close to where my daughter lives, all the while Brice is calling.

This is when I see my daughter pass me in her car.

Oh dear.....I never meant to worry her.  I immediately got off the phone and called her. She answered frantic....Where are you? After I explained what happened she chuckled in total understanding, but added.......go home now, Dad is sufficiently worried!

That is the point I knew I had gone too far. When Brice called again I answered and he said:

Where are you?

What? Aren't you behind me? You said you were going to follow me home.

You mean to tell me you have been staring at your phone while I am calling frantic!?!

Well no, not really. I went to go get gas because I was almost out. 

Then he said something about getting my a$$ home and NOW.  So I called Lucy. ;) I explained to her this time would be different. I was really angry and was going to take a page out of her book and to be angrier than Brice for a change. Humph!

That plan lasted about 30 seconds after I walked in the door. I wish I could remember the lecture, because it was The Lecture of all Lectures. He basically accepted the fact I didn't come straight home. Even he felt he deserved that. Not answering my phone is where I didn't have much of a leg to stand on.....but boy did I try......for about another 30 seconds.

We go about our night time routine without a word spoken between us. Right after we get the girls in bed he follows me to the bedroom and goes directly for the big paddle. My life flashes before me at this point and I start begging.

Please Brice NO! You can't tonight! You are way too angry!

Don't tell me what I can't do!

I'm not, but the girls just went to bed, they are not asleep and they will come down. Please don't do this now....just calm down let me brush my teeth and get ready for bed.  I know it's coming just please calm down first.

(Huge sigh) Okay, go ahead.

I am officially freaking out at this point. What do I do? You guessed it....I go into the bathroom and call Lucy! I'm not sure what I thought she was going to do about my situation, but she was at least going to have to worry with me. I explain to her how Brice normally is quick to tell me he is too angry, and I will have to wait until morning. This time his anger was way beyond that.....I had screwed up royally this time.

I walked into the bedroom and that darn paddle is laying in my spot. I climbed in bed and started apologizing. We hashed it all out again, then Brice asked for the paddle. By this point I had slid it under my mattress. I don't know why, maybe hoping he would forget about it. I somehow convinced him to wait until morning.  He agreed, but said I was going to wish I had received it that night. Yikes!

As I settled in to go to sleep, I thought it would be a good idea to cuddle up against him. As I started to make my moves.....moves I knew he couldn't resist lol, he stopped me....

Oh no you don't.

What? I just want you to hold me.

Oh, okay.  As he places his huge hand under my pajama pants on my bottom and gently squeezes.

Ummm....That's not what I meant.

He squeezes tighter.  Nope, this is perfect.  I'm very comfortable.

(oh crap) 
You know, I really love you, right?

Yep,  and I love you too.....I'm going to show you just how much tomorrow.
(pause)
You will FEEEEL the LOVE.

Stop!

Goodnight Betsy.

The next morning was one of the worst to date, as I knew it would be. He apologized for his part in it, but stressed that I took my revenge way too far.

It still amazes me how when it's over, everything is completely behind us and all is well again with the world.


As I prepared to write this post, I received another complete lecture from Wilma ;).......telling me I had phoned the wrong friend....and should have known better! She promptly sent me the cute graphics above. Later, Lucy and I were talking about how that night unfolded.......From her viewpoint, she felt as if she was driving the white bronco for OJ Simpson. LOL

Have I Mentioned My House is a Wreck?

This summer has been nuts.  I can't complain, nothing bad, just busy. We have one we moved back to college last week, and the two little ones starting school soon....our baby starts kindergarten :(  . Hopefully things will settle down a bit after that. I have been reading blogs from my phone when I can steal a minute, but I still haven't mastered commenting from my phone. :(

When I originally started to write this post it was meant to be something different but turned into this. I promise my next one will be light hearted, however I believe this post will help you understand a little about how we got here. It was DEFINITELY cathartic for me to write, and please if you are going through any of this and want to reach out for more detail or have questions, DO IT! 

A friend of mine, I had not seen in 17years,  appeared at my door a few months ago. I was so excited to see her, but at the same time I immediately began apologizing for what a wreck my house was. ( Almost every conversation I have includes me saying how bad my house is to anyone, even if you aren't at my house lol)  She was very polite and said it was fine, but I knew better. I guess the main living areas don't show the REAL clutter, but I knew she knew the OLD me....the neat and very organized me.....the me Brice married....the me I miss so bad!!! Okay I'll stop;) 

Barb actually came out and asked me eventually, how did it happen? How did I let it get so out of hand? In a weird way this was a huge comfort, it was confirmation I wasn't always like this. It had been the last 11yrs....well 7 since I had really started losing control of it. 

She knew we lost a baby, and my father had past away, but not all the heartache that also happened in a span of a few years. So one day recently I began to try to list the chain of events. 

(Trust me, I am not looking for sympathy, many of you have had it much worse than me, and I do realize how much I have to be thankful for. A few of these things were BIG BLESSINGS.)

-We lost our baby boy due to an amnio. 

-We delivered our 3rd girl 11 months later:)

-When she was 18 months old I fell and broke my elbow, had surgery on Tuesday 

-That Friday my Mom had a stroke. 

-My Dad was battling cancer. 

- My Mom and Dad moved in with us 3 weeks later.  So I could care for my Mom. 

- Three months later my Dad insisted they move back to their home. 

- Three weeks later my Mom fell and broke her hip. 

- After 4 weeks rehab we moved them into an assisted living in our neighborhood. 

- My Dads cancer continued to get worse. 

- My Mom continued to be a handful;)

- 4 months later my Dad was put on hospice, we had to move them to a higher level care facility. 

-Two months later my sisters MIL passed away at the breakfast table with my Mom and Dad at the assisted living. 

-The next day, my daughters boyfriend's mother passed away suddenly. ( He only had his stepfather left, which he was not close to)

-The week after the two funerals, my 16yr.  old niece called and her mom had been taken by ambulance to rehab for alcoholism and she needed to come live with us. (Which included moving bedrooms around, enrolling her in school etc..)

-2 1/2 weeks later my Dad died a horrible painful death. 

-Before my Dad's body was taken away, my Mom was ready and waiting with her hair rollers and makeup bag in hand to come home to live with us;)

-At this point I was feeding 4 teenagers and a 2 1/2 yr. old and caring for my Mom who needed assistance with everything. 

- My husbands company of 20yrs experienced a take over. They were pushing everyone out.

-We cleaned out and sold my parents home of 56 years. 

-Together we started our own company

-In the first 2 weeks of opening our doors my oldest graduated high school and I found out I was pregnant with our 4th child while using birth control! Can you say SURPRISE?!?

-Company going very well, opened our 2nd location.

-I was 6 months pregnant, 1 week before our opening, Brice's Dad rushed to ICU. We were now faced with moving him to assisted living.

-1month later my brother in law had a heart attack but thankfully was fine.

-2 DAYS later I was admitted to the hospital in premature labor, stayed there for a week then spent remaining 2 months of my pregnancy on bed rest.

-After our 4th little blessing was born we had to clean out and sell Brice's parents home

-This begins the downfall of the economy.

-9 months later Brice and I had VERY BAD marriage problems that lasted about 9 months.

-Brice's Dad passed away during that 9 months

-As we learned our marriage COULD be saved we were faced with losing our company.

-Almost complete financial ruin.

-Brice found a job but we knew it was for only about 6 months

-5 months later, I started my first full time job outside the home in 22 years.

-4 weeks later, Brice's job ended.

-He searched for work with the rest of the country for the next year.

-He landed a fairly decent new job

-2 days before he started, I walked into the emergency room, thinking I might have a touch of pnemonia, 2 hours later I was on LifeFlight going to a major heart institute, not breathing on my own. Brice was told I would probably not make it through the night.  3 days later I woke up in ICU not believing what they were telling me had happened.

-I was home feeling good as new in less than a week but on VERY strong medicine that kept me fairly out of it for a good  9 months until they could cut down the dosage.

-The next week after my hospitalization my daughters boyfriend's mother died from a battle with cancer. (yes same daughter, different boyfriend) on that note my neighbor said....no offense but I'm really glad my son is to young to date her. ;)

-They were engaged 5months later and married 9months after that. (very happy occasion but stressful too)

-This past year, other than starting our new journey, I have sat around wondering how my house got this bad, not knowing where to begin, and feeling guilty that I am not the mother for my younger 2 that I was for my older 2.

During this entire last 7 years I have slowly lost my Mom to dementia. Before this we talked on the phone 3 times a day, we were VERY close.  I do believe I have been grieving her loss the entire time. As I have said many times before.....I miss her terribly while sitting next to her.

I do understand how blessed I am. I am alive ;), Brice and I are together and still madly in love, he now has a wonderful job, and we have a beautiful, healthy family.....

All of this is just my excuse for my house being a wreck ;)  You have no idea how good it feels to look back and say....oh yeah, so that's how it happened. 

Simple Little Words

It is absolutely crazy how simple little words can get me in such BIG trouble.

Betsy?!

WHAT?

Betsy come in here.

WHY?

Betsy did you.......?

Ugh....YES!!!!

Betsy you need to.......!

I KNOW!!!!

Betsy don't forget to......!

I DID!!!

Oh and also you need to.....

OKAAAYYY!!!

Are you seriously talking to me like THAT?

( I quietly walk away....my Mama tought me sometimes it's better to say nothing at all ) :)

Betsy, I've had enough, bend over the bed.

NO!!!

Now Betsy!

WHY??

You need to learn to watch that mouth of yours.

But I didn't SAY ANYTHING !?!?!

Mm hmm.... Now I'm not going to say anything. 

( Ha! In my dreams)

WHACK!!

OWWW!!! OKAY! I'm SORRY!! That's ENOUGH!!!

Ha! Are you kidding? This time you are going to tell ME why you are here.....WHACK!!

I'm SORRY!! I really am!!!!

I'm sure you are, but what are you sorry for....? WHACK!!!

OWWW!!!

( Okay Betsy think fast. If I admit I was disrespectful using simple words....I will be here daily....If I don't....I may be here all night.)

WHACK!!! Is it that hard to figure out?

OWWW!!!! NO! I'm SORRY!! 

We've established your sorry, or at least your a$$ is....I'm asking you one more time...what are you sorry for?

WHACK!!!

OUCHHH! Just give me a break to think about it! (Ha! That's it I need time to figure this out)

WHACK!!! Take all the time you need...WHACK!!

NO STOP!! I can't think while you do that!

WHACK!!

OKAY OKAY!!! I give in....you can tell me what I did. (fingers crossed hoping, hoping) 

WHACK!! Don't tell me what I can do. 

(Ugh! At this point my bottoms getting numb so I can take it better...but I can't let on so I have to keep yelling)

OWWW!!!! THAT HURTS!! (Shhh! ;) )

(New deliema....a couple of HoH's told Brice he will know I've had enough when I relax and stop fighting....not sure it will work here though...I better keep squirming)

WHACK!!! Both cheeks he somehow found a fresh spot!!!

OKAY!! OKAY!!! I WAS DISRESPECTFUL!!!

Now we are getting somewhere!

WHACK!!

NO! You said I had to tell you what I did and I DID!!

How were you disrespectful?

(Ugh....why did I want this lifestyle?)

With my tone. 

WHACK!! 

Hey! I admited it!!

Yes, that was good, your getting there. Now tell me what else you did that was disrespectful? 

That wasn't being disrespectful! I didn't have anything nice to say. (sniff pout) 

WHACK!!!

OKAY! I shouldn't have done that. (sniff)

What did you do?

(Sigh) I didn't answer you and walked away when you asked me a question. 

WHACK!!!! Both cheeks again...worst swat of all!

(All I could do was sobb....my body totally relaxed, all tension was gone as I lay there crying uncontrollably)

(Brice began rubbing my bottom at this point) Do you realize I almost never use that type of 'you are annoying me' tone with you?

I know (sniff) (oh dear....he's going there)

On the rare occasion I have, you didn't like it did you. 

Gulp...no. 

In fact I think I remember your feelings being hurt so bad you cried. 

(I thought he said he wasn't going to talk)

I nodded yes. (sniff, sniff)

(By this point I'm cuddled up in his lap with my head buried under his chin)

Don't you think it hurts my feelings when you talk to me like that?

Well yes, when you put it like that....(pout, sniff) 

You know how much I love you right?

(On that note, I begin sobbing again)

(Brice holds me tight)

I know! I love you too...and I am really sorry (sobbing). 

He then shows me his love in his own special way and I know I am forgiven. 

If you had told me a year ago this was how we would settle arguments I would have called you nuts. As bad as it was, I always talked to Brice like that before dd. I don't think even Brice realized before dd, how damaging simple words can be to a marriage when added to a certain tone.....I'm sure he was still hurt by them, but just grouped it together with other things that annoyed him and let it fester. He would then rebel against me in some way.... to hurt me back. 

Hind sight really is 20/20. This tone of voice thing is a work in progress for me...sigh...but I am going to try. And not just because I'll get spanked for it, but more because I don't want to hurt the love of my life. :)

So....until next time (hopefully just a week this time;)).....

Watch out for those 'Simple little words'

Going Rogue ;)

Well I don't need to talk about our week in blogland, it was a tough one. The main thing now is our little Emily is much better than she was a week ago, as we continue our prayers for her.

Last night let's just say I was ready to relax with my husband and have some fun. Brice likes to have a good time, but sometimes he is a little more serious than me. 

After a glass (or two;)) of wine I was, I guess what you might call, poking the bear. Just picking at him and he was wanting to watch a movie....DETERMINED for us to watch a movie......together. 

He said something to me kind of bossy(ish) and I didn't like it, so I turned to him and announced......

I am about to go Rogue on you! 

(If you don't know who Rogue is, forgive me, this post won't make a bit of sense)

Then I proceeded to laugh until I cried, while he sat there looking at me like I was much weirder than he thought I was. 

I was so amused with myself I had to share my humor with someone and the lucky winner last night was Rogue herself. I emailed her what I said to Brice along with another email congratulating her on becoming a household name, just like Kleenex ;) 

Rogue was kind enough to email me back and feed my ego more by telling me she got a laugh out of it too. 

After I was done entertaining myself ;) Brice asked me if I knew what 'going rogue' meant? Hahahaha.....my response was.....Yes, but do you? Then proceeded to burst out laughing again. 

I eventually explained to him who Rogue was and what was so funny. His very dry response was something to the effect of.....

It's not going to happen so can we please watch this movie now?

A girl can dream right? ;)

Prayers For Emily

Please keep this little girl in your prayers.





 

Taking Care of Business

Well last week was pretty crazy around here. We had all the normal chaos plus my oldest sister was out of town which meant I was taking care of my Mom also. My Mom is in a retirement facility but one of us is there daily to check on things. So Mama had a few issues last week and Friday night I was on the phone discussing things with my other sister.

I guess I should back up a bit and let you know Brice was going very easy on me as far as getting my stuff done and I really appreciated it. 

Also, on Thursday, I got a phone call about my Mom and immediately called Brice to fill him in.....and tell him I was on my way to check on her. 

He said I'm right by there I'll meet you. 

My first reaction was no I'm fine, but it dawned on me this was one of those times I need to let him take care of me. It was really nice to have him there, I thanked him later and let him know how much it meant to me. 

Okay....back to my sister on the phone, lol. We had finished dinner and the little girls were all wound up and tensions were running high. 

I hung up the phone and both girls charge me asking for dessert and all sorts of other things. I looked over at Brice and he is playing a game on his phone. Grrrrr....

He tells the girls to put on their PJ's and calm down....all while playing his game. 

I said a little exasperated....why didn't y'all do all that while I was on the phone?!?!? Talking to the girls, knowing it was directed at him....I know I know. ( I should have treaded lightly here, but nope not me) 

Finally, as I got up to leave the room, I looked back and said.....Don't you worry about a thing!!! Just go back to playing your game!!! (Insert head toss with nose in the air as I walked out of the room, with the kids) Sigh...

                      

I'm sorry, I just don't know why you didn't get them in bed while I was on the phone!? 

Did you notice I cleaned up the kitchen while you were on the phone...Or were you too busy running your mouth at me?

Ummm....

                      

Honey, I'm SOoo SORRY, I was carried away talking to my sister...

He was having none of it. To say he was furious was an understatement. 

I promptly got the kids in bed.

I knew perfectly well what was going to happen but was really hoping it wouldn't be then. 

We watched a movie together not mentioning the elephant in the room. 

Finally, as we were about to go to sleep, he said I know you don't like to wait....but you will have to. There is no way I can deal with you tonight....I'm too angry. Especially after I was so easy on you this week. 

Okay....

                     

I'm really sorry. 

I was really nice the next day, and we had our normal influx of people. At one point our girls were all out of the house, but my brother-in-law was here. I chatted with him more than I have in years...I knew when he left I would meet my fate. 

As he walked out the door, Brice turned to me and said...let's go take care of business......and that's exactly what we did. All was well with the world once again. 

I still amazes me how it truly does clean the slate. 

I Miss His Arm

I never thought I would be saying these words....but I really do miss his arm. I mentioned in my last post Brice had an injury to his shoulder that will require surgery. That will be later this week. We have been told the recovery will be about 3 weeks, so that's really not too bad considering.

Yes, he has another one but it always seems to be on the wrong side lol. I guess it's just not our norm.

Now that I have learned my backside will not be spared due to his injury I cannot wait to have it fixed. 

All kidding aside, there are so many things we take for granted each day when it comes to an HoH's arm....

That was the arm that laid across me while I fell asleep at night.

The arm that pulled me back to him if I strayed away in bed during the night, then held me against him.

The arm that reached out for his hand to grab the back of my neck to let me know he has me in a crowd.

The arm that allowed his hand to rest on the small of my back to guide me in the right direction.

The arm that wrapped around my shoulders as he stands behind me to tell me secrets in the kitchen (some I don't want to hear but still ;))

The arm that would allow his hand to reach out and grab mine to pull me along in a time crunch.

The arm that tucked me under and pulled me tight against him just letting me know how safe I was in my spot beside him.

Don't get me wrong....I am very thankful to have him here with me on a daily basis, I know what it is like for him to be away on business...

But I really do miss his arm.


Update:
Thank you for all of your well wishes, it really means a lot to us, and I am happy to report a turn of events.

At the last minute we had what amounted to a second opinion and Brice did not have to have surgery. It was wonderful news, but at the same time frustrating that if he had been given the proper sling originally we would only be looking at one more week recovery....instead of FOUR!

The doctor looked at me and said....anytime he tries to use that arm you just slap it down okay?

LOL

My response?

Oh don't you worry, I will be happy to. :)  (which earned me one of those looks we have all learned to recognize)

The Old Woman in the Shoe

There once was an old lady, who lived in a shoe...
She was about 47 and completely overwhelmed.

Her neighbor of 15 years, and very close friend was moving away. (Well two miles away but still) This friend has been through more than any one person should have to experience, in the last couple of years.

A couple of weeks ago her friend called the old woman as she was happily commenting on blogs, and asked her to ride along on some errands. While they were out the friend fell ill and was taken to the hospital by ambulance. It turned out to be stress related, which really worried the old woman.

The friends new shoe would not be ready for a month after she had to be out of her old shoe.....so she would be moving in with the old woman, her HoH, her 19 year old that is in from college, and her 9 & 5 year old daughters.

Meanwhile, the old woman's HoH thinks she is having issues with her mouth....this is where the nursery rhyme goes wrong. I have ALWAYS heard the old woman was supposed to spank her children and put them to bed....well, not in this shoe...

In this shoe the HoH spanks the old woman almost every night ( for something about attitude? ) and puts HER to bed!

Then one day the HoH...

Get ready for it.....

Try not to laugh....

Had a small accident and pulled his shoulder out of socket.

Right shoulder.

The old woman's HoH is right handed.

The HoH had a MRI and will need surgery. The old woman now feels as though she has added another child to her shoe for her to care for.

By now her treads are wearing very thin and her HoH is about to hang her from her shoe laces. Even though she has been very sweet to him, and waiting on him hand and foot...;) (well, I was sweet)

Then there is the porridge.....No, she doesn't make porridge, but you see all of the old woman's children (young and old) want to eat. Everyday. Even though they ate the day before, they still want to eat again the next day.....annoying I know. ;) So she cooks and cooks....and cooks.

The old lady felt as though she did not have a minute to call her own and went completely MIA from blogland. She missed everyone there and couldn't wait to get back. She started getting a little snipity, thinking her HoH couldn't do any thing about it.....maybe she WOULD spank them all and put them to bed....hmmm.

That fantasy did not last very long, before the old woman was pulled over the HoH's knee and was shown how proficient he could be with his LEFT hand.....

I know....I hate tragic endings too.

This is my new favorite picture. I text it to Brice when he sends me a text I don't like.

(For instance, telling me to do something he knows I don't want to do lol)

I'm pretty sure you will see her from time to time here ;)

The Newly Red Game

Time to go back in Time and play a 'classic' game based on the American TV show The Newlywed Game.  There is a twist, some questions are ttwd related- Hence the new name.  Without further ado ...cue cheesy music.......

Of course being somewhat Dd related we needed to rename this puppy.  Thanks to Susie over at Her Mischief Managed....

 Rules

Answer the questions in your category first ( ie wife answer questions under wife)

Don't share your answers with your spouse.  Next answer the questions in your spouse's category, BUT answer how you THINK he/she will answer.

Have your spouse repeat the process, with no interference from you! Make sure they know to answer your category questions as he/she would think YOU would answer the questions!

Questions for the Wife

What would your husband say was the last thing you did, that made him give you 'the look" ?

I was a tiny bit sassy Saturday.

Brice said....After he went to the store Saturday and put away groceries I said what are you feeding the girls for dinner? (I had been at the neighbors helping her and I will not discuss this further on the grounds it may incriminate me;))

What part of his body does your husband discuss the most? 

His stomach

Brice said...my 24 pack (beer belly;))

If I could burn one ( non implement ) possession of my husbands and get off Scott free it would be? 

His Big Dog shirt that says.....I married my wife for her looks....but not the way she is looking at me now.

He said his dress shoes. (Wing Tips...very old and worn out)

 What shape would shape would your HoH say your backside is? 1) an apple 2) a pear 3) a pancake 4) never noticed...too distracted. 

A pancake

Brice said #2 Pear

Nothing makes me sassier than ( blank) 

Brice getting on my nerves!

Brice said...if you are right and I am wrong when we argue. (Did he just admit I am right?) 

If my family knew we were in a Dd relationship they would  A) be mortified B) be intrigued and ask questions C) High five my HoH, and tell him/her it was about time ! 

A) Be Mortified

A) Be mortified....Brice said everyone majorly mortified but inquisitive

When making whoopee, my husband's theme song should be A) I Will Survive B) Dancing with Myself C) Wake Me Up Before You Go Go D) Shook Me All Night Long  

D) Shook Me All Night Long

Brice said...D) Shook Me All Night Long

If (blank) was an Olympic sport, my husband would take the gold.

Arguing

Brice said....Cooking ( he is an amazing cook)

Two words that best describe my husband are _______ and _________.

Caring and Bossy

Brice said.....Sweet and Salty (insert my eye roll)

 Questions for the Husbands

What should your wife's theme song be?

Bad Company- Ready For Love

My answer.....Take it to the Limit- Eagles

Finish this sentence, even before ttwd I wanted to spank my wife when she did (blank) 

Tried to tell me what I could and could not do. (he answered that a little to quickly) He wants me to add he really wanted a motorcycle.

My answer....Talked back to him.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought a (blank) would be something I'd spank with....

a rubber spatula (he wants me to add we are new at this)

My answer....The silicone spatula. This was just yesterday, he is a 'foodie' this was a major step for him. lol

If my wife never makes (blank) again for dinner, it would be too soon.

I like everything my wife cooks. (okay, so the man is politically correct lol)

My answer....Breakfast for dinner. ( he hate's it)

Pick a bird to represent your wife.  What type of bird do you see yourself as?

Betsy would be a Rocking Robin (he added you should look up the song for details and sub she for he) He would be a Vulture.

My answer.....I'm a Mockingbird (lol) and Brice is a Hawk. He watches me like a hawk to make sure I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing He watches to make sure I am safe and secure.

 When I give my wife the 'look' often I am thinking (blank) 

Your A$$ is MINE!!!

My answer....I'm going to spank your bottom...(not quite that politely)

The two words that sum up my wife are _______ and _______. 

Sweet and Sexy 

My answer.....Sassy and Sweet

If there was NO chance of getting caught, where is one place you would like to make whoopee? 

The Center of the Star in Cowboy Stadium with the roof open. 

My answer....The desk in the Oval Office. ;)


Aside from her bottom, what is your wife's greatest asset? 

Her Boobs (he requested a winky face) ;)

My answer.....My boobs 

I managed to complete this and stay out of trouble, I consider that in itself a success! ;) 

I Would Never.....

Those seem to be becoming my famous last words.

Since we began this journey I seem to be eating them fairly often.

I think I probably said them when I first entered DD blogland then repeated them MANY times since. Now the words end up caught in my throat because I've almost always ended up doing exactly what I said I would never do.

My first couple of spankings I could not say a word...was it shock? Surprise? I have no idea...But I said to a friend I don't think I could ever TALK during a spanking.....

By the time my next spankings came, I was yelling....I don't want to do this anymore, I want to quit etc.... Just to be relieved later that he didn't listen to me ;)

Next came my I'll try anything tactics...I actually tried to grab his male anatomy with hopes of distracting him enough to rush him on to other things ;) This backfired miserably, he got angry and said I was obviously not getting the message of why we were there :(

Then there was the I will say anything he wants me to so I can get up plan....This plan is fairly self explanatory, I also refer to it as the Black is White Theory. I simply say, or well yell, whatever I think he wants to hear. This plan did usually work best out of the things I had tried to this point, but not as fast as I would have hoped.

This brings me to....'I would NEVER talk back during a spanking'.....and I owe Susie and her 'talking hand' a very big apology. NO I did not introduce Brice to 'puppet hand', but I did mouth off during a spanking and said many stupid things. I said things like....It's your fault I'm here....I wasn't on the computer when you asked me I was on my phone, so it wasn't a lie. Umm...then there was when he told me to be still because I was making it hard on him and I responded with...It is supposed to be harder for you than for me :(

Last, but definitely not least I said 'I would NEVER ask for a spanking'.

I found myself in a huge heap of trouble last week (I'll write about it eventually, when it's resolved) and I knew I was in for it. Brice came in from work right as I was leaving to take the girls to activities. My little one asked me if I was staying to watch and Brice answered that Mommy had to come home because Mommy and Daddy had to have a talk...GULP. I was a nervous wreck the entire way there and back, but when I got home he asked me to watch some show with him?!?! What?!?! After that he left to go get the girls.

I cannot explain my reaction at all...I should have jumped for joy but I was ticked! When Brice got home I had a major attitude, which of course did not go unnoticed. He told me he was surprised I was so sassy with a major spanking coming that night. GRRRR!!! By the time the kids were in bed he said I  was getting two, one that night and another the next morning.

That night's came and I survived....

The next morning I took the girls to school again with a nervous stomach and this time a sore bottom. When I returned home he was taking a shower, we had to go move my 19 year old back from school that day. He came into the room and said...since he was such a nice guy he would let me out of the second spanking, he felt I had a clean slate and we were good from the night before. I was so relieved, I hugged, kissed and thanked him over and over.....

Now is when I wish I could say I was a perfect angel, but no :( With in 30 min I wanted to scratch his eyeballs out! This was going to be a very stress filled day, moving days always are. That's when I did it....Right before we left, I grabbed his hand and lead him into the bedroom. I looked him in the eyes and said...You just need to do it. He barely let the words come out of my mouth and he was in his closet getting the paddle (the new big pine one) GULP!

I immediately started with....just one swat okay? ....not hard okay? .....over my jeans okay? He calmly said what he always says....You don't tell me how okay? ....Ugh....okay.

First swat with that and I stood straight up. He talked me through 4 more and it was over.....attitude in check!!

Brice then commented on how much he liked his new paddle....he said it will be used for major infractions from now on and I told him...

I would never....do anything bad enough to need that. ;)

Communication or Lack There Of.... and Meet Brice

This will be a rambling mess but it's where I am at the moment.

I am a bit frustrated with myself. Communication has never been a difficulty for me in the past, so I'm really not quite sure what's going on now.  I often read about people building walls and holding in their emotions, I've always joked about Brice wishing I would distance and hold a few things in. ;)

We started out full steam ahead, it is kind of easy for Brice to lead, not so much for me to follow....but I'm working on it. From the beginning he said he didn't need directions to spank his wife, and I'm here to tell you he didn't. Brice has asked a few times, what else is he supposed to be doing....he says he knows exactly what I am supposed to do (unfortunately he does). He will read a blog if I put it in front of him but I have a hard time even picking one out for him to read.

Consistency has actually been an issue for us. Which I'm not one to complain, but it does cause me to tale spin. I have enough trouble as it is and I don't need any extra help in spinning out of control.

I was the one that said....I would NEVER whine about consistency. The biggest problem I do have with it is Brice is VERY consistent in pointing out what I do wrong, and boy can he gripe lecture, and I feel like it goes on and on. I don't fight back like I used to (as much anyway) so I end up feeling like he is always angry with me. Then he finally has enough and follows through and I am left shocked.

This week I experienced my first two days in a row of spankings, with his new paddle from Blondie.....not fun. I really didn't think he would do it again....I was wrong. :( It was really amazing how much submission I had the next day or two...that halo was firmly on my head. I need the feeling that I have been forgiven, that he is okay with the fact I'm a scatter brained mess....I need his help and leadership. It was the perfect time to do some communicating....did I? Nope, not really.

I really know what I need to do, and I know this is my fault because he WILL listen to anything I have to say, but I MUST find the words.

It just goes to show, this is NOT an easy process...No matter how dominant they are at the starting line the hurdles can slow you down. <<----(sorry about the analogy, I promise to never try that again lol)


On a more positive note.....
Here is my first meme,

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?  Sports, Action Movies, Sports, or 
    um....Sports. 

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?  Caesar 

3. The most striking thing about his physical appearance?  His Bald Head. ;)

4. You go out to eat and have a drink; what does he order?  A Filet Mignon medium rare and  bottle of red wine for us to share.

5. Where did he go to high school? About 30 minutes away from me.

6. What size shoe does he wear? 11

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?  Shot Glasses, Hats, Small Knives

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?  Hot Corned Beef and Pastrami with Mustard, Pepper Jack Cheese on Rye

9. What would he eat every day if he could?   Never the same thing as the two days  before....ugh

10. What is his favorite cereal?  Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries

11. What would he never wear? A Speedo 

12. What is his favorite sports team? DALLAS COWBOYS!!!!!! (he said it has to be in all caps)

13.Who did he vote for? The same person as me.  

14. Who is his best friend?   He said ME ;) (did I mention he's a smart man)

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Straighten my hair. 

16. What is his heritage?   English/Scottish

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind?  Rum Cake 

18. Did he play sports in high school? Football, Basketball, Baseball

19. What could he spend hours doing?  Watching Sports

20. What is one unique talent he has?  He can pick things up with his toes. (He's very proud of this)

Umm...You Mean You Don't Like Surprises?

This was the point I began to realize how submissively challenged I really am. This is when I realized Brice gets to continue to be himself, and I am the one that has to make the big changes.  This is when Brice began to realize he had won the lottery. This is when I realized I had been zigging when maybe I should have been zagging.

We made it past the 's' word (as I referred to it back then) much easier than I expected, when he actually said it first, but I still wasn't quite ready to commit. My biggest concern now was that once that started, there would be no stopping and the way he was pointing out every little thing ....I was officially freaking out. ;)

It was Christmas time, when my daughter in from college asked me if she could have a get together for friends from her middle school. (They had been a very close class and all great kids.) Brice was going to be out of town working, so I said sure.

Was I going to ask Brice you wonder?

Mmmm...no.

Why?

Well why would I......he would say 'NO'?

Did I think twice about asking Brice?

Nope....not even once. ;)

He didn't need to know, because it would all be cleaned up by the time he got home right?

One little problem was I didn't mention to my daughter not to tell her Dad.....That would be wrong...I would never do a thing like that. (I know I know...twisted but true)  That's exactly what she did....Told her Dad.

Brice was angry as you can imagine, he gave me the...what better happen and what better not happen lecture. We hadn't 'officially started' dd yet....although he threatened plenty...I really didn't think he would necessarily do anything.

The party was great, yes there were a few little mishaps but considering there were about 22 nineteen year old kids, it went very well. Unfortunately, not quite well enough, the little issues were enough for me to get into very big trouble.

I had earned my first spanking. That was the day I learned I may be turned on by the thought of one....even the threat of one....I now knew NOTHING turned me on about the actual event. I immediately (well, by the 3rd swat) wanted it to stop. I was yelling that I had made a terrible mistake that I didn't want to do this anymore, we have to quit and so on. Brice calmly continued, simply stating he would be more than happy to discuss my thoughts on all of this....right after my spanking. Needless to say, reality was now setting in.

As time went by, I found this little....umm....bad habit of mine, is something I have always done in our marriage, more often than I ever imagined. The next time I was running an 'idea' I had by a dd friend, and she asked a simple question....

What does Brice think about it?

Ummm...well he will be out of town, so I'm thinking I would surprise him.

I know this is horrible, but until she asked me, it never crossed my mind.

Once she stopped laughing at my expense, she convinced me this way of thinking was no longer an option.

This little issue has definitely been one of the hardest for me and the most unexpected. I really did NOT realize how often I had been ''surprising' Brice throughout our marriage....when he doesn't like surprises. ;)

What Have I Done to My Life?

Brice, come look at the comments on my blog, isn't this exciting?

Almost monotone:
Mmm hmm, it would be even more exciting if you had washed my socks today.

He really is okay with me blogging now,  just a little concerned about my time management skills (or lack there of).

I appreciate, beyond words, the warm welcome I received on my first post. I'm not sure I can live up to the expectations......we aren't really that exciting....But as most of you know ttwd is a wild ride and I'm going to attempt to share ours.

When I first stumbled upon the Learning DD website, back around September, I was totally shocked yet intrigued by what I found. I'll admit here, the thought of a spanking was a bit of a turn on (there I said it) but not something I spent much time thinking about it. I found so much more than spanking info, there was also all the talk about the HoH and the dynamic. Immediately I realized they were describing Brice to a T.  Me? Yeah, not so much, I was about as far from submissive as you could get.

As time went on, I read and read, then decided maybe I should at least try to treat Brice with more respect and let him be who he really was. The results were immediate and amazing. I remember telling a friend......Wow, to think it is simple as being nice to Brice and he is nice to me!?!  Why didn't I think of that before? lol

I began to laugh to my self about the raised eyebrow he would give me (that I now believe he was born with) and other comments he made that were almost direct quotes to what I was reading. Putting all of it together I thought maybe this could work for us.

We finally talked about what I had been doing and it had not gone unnoticed. Our little daily arguments had come to almost a complete halt. He loved it...which gave me the courage to mention consequences. I didn't say what kind....Just sort of mentioned it in passing.  More or less I knew he wouldn't have much of a problem with spanking, we have always had a fairly...umm...active sex life. ;)

That's when reality hit. Brice KNEW I was SUPPOSED to be trying to yield to him or at the very least LISTEN to him....And he did NOT hesitate to point it out when I didn't. This is about the time I decided I wasn't quite ready to mention spanking yet. ;)  I now began to realize what I was getting myself into....it started to be crystal clear how much my life was going to change...and exactly how UN-submissive I really was......

Uh..Oh...

What do I do now?


Next Post:  Umm...You Mean You Don't Like Surprises?

We Are On Our Way

Brice and I have been married for 26 years. We have 4 beautiful daughters ranging in age from 24 to 5......which means our happy home is often compared to Grand Central Station......crowds of kids, teens, and young adults coming and going constantly. Never is there a dull moment around here.

Our entire marriage has been a power struggle. Brice has always been very alpha male, and I have tried for a long time to get him to change. I realize now it was most likely that dominance that attracted me to him. The night we met in college we got into an argument over the rules to a game. I'll admit now (but don't tell Brice) I was trying to cheat for the girls team. All of the other guys did not care in the least, Brice however threw a fit and said.....if I was going to play it was going to be by his rules! Yep, that should have been my first clue. After the argument he asked me out and I said yes! ;)

I have read where some women talk about how their husbands USED to be dominant males.  Brice was always very dominant, no matter how hard I tried to get rid of this trait. Our arguments were not usually over the major things that break up a marriage......money, sex, in-laws....just everything else :( The bedroom is the one place Brice has always been in charge, and I have never argued with him. Sometimes I truly believe this is one of the reasons we made it 26 years. We have been through a lot over these years, but I can truly say, the last three years we have been closer than ever.

Brice's number one gripe with me is that he says I am bossy and controlling. Not that he ever did what I said!!  He tells me everything I say comes out as a demand. I have really worked hard over the years to improve this and it is better.....however, I do not believe there is a bigger gift I could have given Brice than bringing DD to our marriage 3 months ago. In no way is this easy for me, it is not natural at all....just ask Brice ;)  But with the help of friends from this amazing community.....we are on our way!!!




Next Time: The First Three Months - What Have I Done To My Life