Monday, April 8, 2013

We Are On Our Way

Brice and I have been married for 26 years. We have 4 beautiful daughters ranging in age from 24 to 5......which means our happy home is often compared to Grand Central Station......crowds of kids, teens, and young adults coming and going constantly. Never is there a dull moment around here.

Our entire marriage has been a power struggle. Brice has always been very alpha male, and I have tried for a long time to get him to change. I realize now it was most likely that dominance that attracted me to him. The night we met in college we got into an argument over the rules to a game. I'll admit now (but don't tell Brice) I was trying to cheat for the girls team. All of the other guys did not care in the least, Brice however threw a fit and said.....if I was going to play it was going to be by his rules! Yep, that should have been my first clue. After the argument he asked me out and I said yes! ;)

I have read where some women talk about how their husbands USED to be dominant males.  Brice was always very dominant, no matter how hard I tried to get rid of this trait. Our arguments were not usually over the major things that break up a marriage......money, sex, in-laws....just everything else :( The bedroom is the one place Brice has always been in charge, and I have never argued with him. Sometimes I truly believe this is one of the reasons we made it 26 years. We have been through a lot over these years, but I can truly say, the last three years we have been closer than ever.

Brice's number one gripe with me is that he says I am bossy and controlling. Not that he ever did what I said!!  He tells me everything I say comes out as a demand. I have really worked hard over the years to improve this and it is better.....however, I do not believe there is a bigger gift I could have given Brice than bringing DD to our marriage 3 months ago. In no way is this easy for me, it is not natural at all....just ask Brice ;)  But with the help of friends from this amazing community.....we are on our way!!!




Next Time: The First Three Months - What Have I Done To My Life

69 comments:

  1. Yay! I am so excited for you! Welcome to blogland my friend!

    Love ya....

    ~Lucy

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    1. Thank you SO much for all your help, listening, humor and laughter even when our circumstances may have not been that funny. I'm looking forward to many more good times....hopefully not at the expense of our bottoms.

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  2. Sooo excited that you are blogging!!
    I look forward to reading your story, back story and NEW stories Betsy.

    Welcome Hugs to you! ((hugs))

    -Emi

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    1. Thanks Emi....I'm excited too! Brice wasn't going to let me, but it is amazing what promises and some respectful begging can do. ;)

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  3. Hello hello hello welcome to blog land y'all lol

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    1. Hello to you all too....or is it you guys...or maybe you two?

      Thanks for the welcome Missy ;)

      By the way -y'all- is in Webster's Dictionary now! ;)

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    2. Lol but it doesn't sound the same coming out of my mouth ;) it really needs that southern American accent lol

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  4. When Lucy says: "Go to Betsy". Then I go to Betsy. So here I am.
    Oh no, it starts with a teaser for the next post.
    Guess I'll just have to follow this blog.

    Welcome Betsy and Brice.

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    1. Bas....you are a good man! Tell me, how can I get Ryan to do what I say as easily as this?? ;)

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    2. Have you tried: "Ryan, GO TO BETSY!"?

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    3. Thank you Bas for listening to Lucy, and the teaser was her idea lol

      No, that would not work at all for Ryan, you see Lucy has tainted Ryan's opinion of me by telling him outlandish stories....all to make herself look better. ;)

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  5. Nice to meet you Betsy and Brice! I can't wait to get to know you better. ((hugs))

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    1. Thank you Lil, I am looking forward to getting to know you too!

      Your blog has been very helpful. You have a lot of good information for beginners on there. ;)

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    2. Especially what NOT to do! Lol

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  6. Welcome Betsy! I am happy to see you blogging. It will be nice to read your story! Kids that range in age from 5-25? Yikes, when do you sleep?! But hurrah for you!

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    1. Oh trust me Minelle...I sleep hard. Keeping up with which direction I am supposed to be going in is the hardest part.

      Thanks for the welcome!

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  7. Oh Yaay, Betsy! You are blogging! :) I am very happy for you and looking forward to hearing all about your journey together with your HoH Brice! :)
    Hugs!

    <3 Katie

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    1. Hi Katie! I am looking forward to putting our journey out here.

      It IS more of a journey than I thought it would be. Everyone says it's not easy....that I now believe is an understatement! ;)

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  8. Woo hoo! Congrats for adding DD and welcome to blogland!

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  9. Whhoooo Hooo finally, now I don't have to pay as attention to my call display anymore, and Lucy can get some sleep! The rest of blog land can HAVE ya!!!

    Seriously, so happy you took the plunge! You already know how kind this community and now you will FEEL it!!

    love willie

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    1. I don't know I think your call display was lighting up more often yesterday, with the start of this lol.

      Thank you so much for your help and support the last few months......and yes, humor. Brice and I would not be as far along as we are without you. However, I am looking forward to not being in nearly as much trouble now that I will have input from others with REAL halos more like my own ;)

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    2. Now do tell, will Brice be reading here? Because I would *love* to know what he thinks. Is he aware you are often delusional ?

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    3. I plead the 5th!

      Oh crap....your Canadian lol.

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  10. Welcome to blogland Betsy & Brice!

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    1. Thanks Jane! Since you pointed out how much wisdom I have, the other day on your blog, I thought I should share it with everyone. lol ;)

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  11. Welcome to blogland, Betsy! :) It's so good to see you here. :) And hoping that DD is the blessing to you that you hope it will be. :)

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    1. Thank you Es May, and I am on my way with my Spring Challenge!

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  12. Welcome to this wonderful family, Betsy!
    V.

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  13. Welcome to blogland, Betsy :)I'd tell you how wonderful every one here is, but you already know that :)

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    1. Hi June! Yes, blogland is full of wonderful people. Even a year ago I would not have believed a community like this existed...well, for more than one reason. ;)

      Thank you for the warm welcome!

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  14. Welcome to blogland. I'm glad you decided to jump off the cliff with us.

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  15. I'm so glad you finally got your blog up! It'll be fun to get to know you more.

    Bossy and controlling! blah blah blah.
    We women would never be that way.
    LOL...my hubby better not come over here and read this or I am in big trouble.

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    1. Hahahaha! You and that puppet hand. That is one habit I will make sure I do not pick up. You really have to watch out who you hang out with around here. ;)

      I'm looking forward to getting to know you better too!

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    2. Susie you make me laugh! We are so tough on the outside but mention an hoh and a brush and we run for cover! Lol

      M.

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  16. Wonderful Betsy - at long last! Welcome to Blogland! It will be lovely to have your join in with this mad family! Glad Lucy got you to join us!

    Many hugs

    Ami

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    1. Hi Ami! Thank you so much for the welcome! I am looking forward to being here. :)

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  17. Lucy sent me over. I look forward to visiting again. I think we are all bossy and controlling, as Susie said, blah, blah, blah and they wouldn't want us any other way, they just want it when they want it.

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    1. Yep, see, you have been hanging out with Susie...lol.

      Yes, Brice would not know what to do for entertainment if he couldn't argue with me, but boy o boy do I get cut off quick these days if something comes out as a 'command' in his eyes.

      Thanks for stopping by I hope you do visit again:)

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  18. Looking forward to reading your blog! I haven't been brave enough to take the plunge yet, but I love reading everyone's stories.

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    1. Hi Clara! Go ahead and jump in! I still can't quite believe I am going to do this....not to mention believing the fact that my husband spanks me and I have agreed to it ;)

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  19. I join all the others in welcoming you to the community, Betsy. I look forward to following along on your journey. :)

    -- Clint

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    1. Thank you Clint! Like was the case with many others around here, your site was the first one I found......My mouth fell open and I could not believe such a thing existed, much less had a name. Your site explains every aspect of DD so well from A to Z....And even made it sound halfway normal. ;)

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    2. Thanks for your kind words about our site Betsy! We're glad you've found it helpful!

      -Chelsea (and Clint)

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  20. I am doing my happy dance Betsy! Woohoo!
    Bea

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    1. Oh Bea I am dancing with you! I am very happy to be here ;)

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  21. Welcome to blogland Betsy
    I like your style

    Bob

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    1. Bob, thank you! Your comment made my day:) I can now add 'style' to my 'wisdom' Jane Jetson so kindly pointed out......If I had known how good blogland was going to be to my ego I would have blogged months ago. ;)

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  22. Hi Betsy :)
    What a lovely place you have here. :)
    Welcome to the community.
    hugs and love,
    lillie

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    1. Hi Lillie! I'm so happy to see you here. I had a great time decorating, but I have to be careful, I start playing with fonts and backgrounds then look up and two hours have passed. ;)

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  23. Sounds like a promising story, Betsy. A husband who's been ready from the start to take the reins. And a spirited wife who has finally come to her senses and realized why she married him in the first place. Judging by the comments on your debut post, it seems like a crowd is gathering to hang on your next words. I'm sure you won't disappoint. I'll be adding your blog to my RSS reader.

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    1. Oh Karl....No pressure there! This is where I will enter my disclaimer......I can't write. Most likely I don't need to tell you that, but please do not judge my intelligence by my writing. All I can say is I hope I don't disappoint!

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  24. Never mind polished writing, Betsy, the authenticity of the story is what will keep folks riveted.

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  25. Welcome to blogland Besty! Looking forward to hearing more from you.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  26. Hello and welcome to blogland. Look forward to reading more.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Thanks Ronnie! I'm so glad you stopped by.

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  27. Welcome to our wonderful helpful community of blogs, bloggers and readers :)
    I look forward to coming here often and following along with your journey.
    - MrBBSpanker

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    1. Thank you Mr. BB I will be needing lots of input and advice. This is a much tougher road than I could have imagined.

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    2. You seem to be doing very well so far Betsy, and have made some very helpful and kind friends along your way :)

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  28. Welcome to blogland Betsy! I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

    -Chelsea (and Clint)

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    1. Hi Chelsea! I really did find your site helpful. I hope Clint goes easy on me, I can usually predict what he is going to say before he says it. I have an uncontrollable need to keep him far away from Brice. ;)

      Thanks for coming by!

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  29. Betsy, welcome! I'm new too so it will be fun reading your blog and getting to know you better. :)

    M.

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  30. Hi Maryanne! I'm looking forward to getting to know you better too! I'll be reading your trip down this road as well;)

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  31. Just dropping in to say welcome and hello!

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